Thursday, December 5, 2013

What I've Learned from my 'Skinny Bitch' Friends

Have you ever met one of those people that just have a god given perfect body? Behind their backs (and on this blogpost) I call them skinny bitches. It's not a nice thing to say, and they don't like hearing it but I don't care. They don't want you to keep asking them how they stay so small and eat whatever and blahlala. Well, I've cracked their lil secrets...I think...



You know who I'm talking about, don't act like you don't..you see them at work or you're friends with them and every time they run through the fast food joint or eat ice cream you just want to SCREAM because you know you would blow up and be bloated as hell if you ate like they do. You know it's not fair and you don't understand how they can eat like shit and still look so great.


From "extensive research", I've gathered their top 3 secrets to staying hot and eating like shit. This list, in no way, is an excuse to throw away all your vegetables and eat whatever and call it the Skinny Bitch diet. It will make you skinny, but not healthy. Actually, I don't even know if it will make you skinny.

1. SKINNY BITCHES EAT SLOW

These skinny bitches can hold a conversation while they're eating. I have never seen one of my skinny bitch friends shoveling food into their face so much that they couldn't hold a conversation. Half the time, I'm finished with my plate before they're even halfway done. Total eye opener. Focus on something other than the food next time you're out to eat, like the company you're with. Get out your phone (assuming you're alone) and read something and just relax and enjoy your food and the experience of going out to eat.

2. SKINNY BITCHES LISTEN TO THEIR BODIES

Skinny bitches eat what they want when they want. You will never see a skinny bitch eating something she doesn't want-it just doesn't happen. If she orders something and doesn't like it-she doesn't eat it. She also doesn't let society dictate her meal times. If she wants a burger, she gets a burger. It's about knowing what you want and knowing when you're actually hungry. If they're not hungry, they don't eat. It's not about being deprived and it's not about binging. If they're hungry, they eat. It's simple.



3. SKINNY BITCHES ARE AWARE OF THEIR BODIES



Once she gains a pound or sees a change in her body, she scales back. A skinny bitch will never wake up and suddenly have gained 30 pounds. She is fully aware of her body and what it is supposed to feel/look like. The same clothes always fit and she probably doesn't have 'fat' jeans. There are limits to everything and skinny bitches are fully aware of these limits. It's important to listen to your body and know when to scale back.

The holidays can be very difficult with all of the temptations and society's pressure, but it's important to make the best decision for your body regardless of what your friends/family are doing.


But, at the end of the day, you should always eat healthy and work out because...

Monday, November 4, 2013

#OOTD at the Cider Mill

Even though I live in Kansas City, I don't live in the middle of Kansas. In fact, I don't, and have never, lived in Kansas. I live in Missouri- Kansas City, Missouri. It's always so funny to hear that people think Kansas City is in Kansas. Especially at Kansas City International Airport, which is located in Missouri. There is a Kansas City, Kansas, but I don't live there and it's different than Kansas City, Missouri. OK- now that that's cleared up.

What does one wear to the middle of Kansas? I honestly don't know. I took my best guess: overalls. We thought we were going to pick apples, but didn't realize a 'cider mill' is not the same as an orchard. So my outfit was prepared to be trotting through the fields, but there were no fields. So, yet again, I was overdressed. I can't say that I minded.


 But why were we seeking apples? For Sunday dinner, of course.

We started with an apple cider cocktail:




For dinner it was seared pork tenderloin with apples and broccoli:


And for the dessert: cinnamon apple crepes 


Have I mentioned that I love this time of year?